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Domestic Violence


Domestic Violence book coverWhat is domestic violence?

Domestic violence incidences at their core are about one individual’s desire to have absolute power and control over another person. When a perpetrator begins to feel that power eroding, they will do whatever they can to regain power, including killing the people they seek to control. In the end, the perpetrator ensures that the victim cannot leave and start a new life. Children, other family members, neighbors, co-workers, and innocent bystanders are all put at risk if they are near when the violence erupts. Domestic violence affects every aspect of our community. It is not just a problem for those in a particular economic class, age group, ethnicity, religious group, or of a particular sexual orientation.  (Santa Clara County Domestic Violence Council 2011)

 

 

 

Risk factors:

  • Separation or talk of ending the relationship.
  • Extreme jealousy and/or possessiveness.
  • Controlling behaviors, including social isolation, financial dependency (limiting access to money and information about finances), threats involving taking away children, threats regarding deportation, and extensive monitoring of daily activities.
  • Prior reported and unreported acts of domestic violence.
  • Stalking behavior.
  • Threats of suicide and/or homicide.
  • Kidnapping or falsely imprisoning someone.
  • The lack of any, or very few, friends outside the relationship.
  • Untreated and inadequately treated mental health conditions, including issues stemming from early childhood trauma and depression.
  • Previous use of weapons or threat of using weapons.
  • Access to firearms- sometimes legally obtained especially once a person has been served a protective order and has not relinquished their firearms.
  • Prior strangulation and choking.
  • A need to “co-opt” a partner’s friends to monitor a person’s activities.
  • Mental health issues. Aging may exasperate mental illnesses making a person more dangerous.
  • An over important sense of self and a lack of empathy for anyone else, including children, possibly increasing the risk to family members and friends.

What can be done?

  • Listen without judging. Don’t rush into providing solutions.
  • Make surethe victim knows she/he is not alone.
  • Let the victim know you support and care about her/him and that the violence is not the victim’s fault.
  • Tell the victim help is available. It is free and confidential.
  • Tell the victim you are worried about her/his safety and the safety of the victim’s children.
  • Tell the victim that you are there for her/him and that she/he deserves better than this.
  • Call 911.
  • Contact a victim advocacy agency and inquire on ways to help a victim.
  • Ask victims if they are fearful of the perpetrator and why. Let them know that you are there for them.
  • Determine if there are deadly weapons in the home and contact local law enforcement or advocacy agencies about the threat of the use of these weapons.
  • Assist victims in calling a domestic violence shelter to create a safety plan, obtain a restraining order, or seek domestic violence counseling. This is especially important if the victim wishes to end the relationship
  • Protect children. Do not be afraid to tell victims and perpetrators that domestic violence is harming their children. When necessary, contact the Child Abuse Hotline at the Department of Children and Family Services.
  • Take all threats seriously even if the victim says that the perpetrator is just “blowing off steam.”
  • Learn about domestic violence and share the information with others.

Statistics:

Resources:

DVDs provide:

DV 101: Safety Planning

Child Custody

Impact of Domestic Violence on Children

Elder Abuse

Housing [English]  [Spanish]  [Vietnamese]

Domestic Violence in LGBTQ Communities

Medical Effects

Restraining Orders   

Batterer Intervention Program

 

Library Materials:



The Better Angels of Our Nature : Why Violence has Declined


book cover The Better Angels of Our NatureUprisings, riots, war and terrorism are a daily features on news media but Steven Pinker, taking an historical perspective, makes the argument that the world is getting less violent. Literacy, the rise of government, commerce, travel and education all have played a part in helping us to control impulsive behavior, consider opposing viewpoints, expose jingoism and chauvinism and make the world a better place.  The Better Angels of our Nature makes fascinating reading, but be warned, -- it is many books in one and you’ll need time  to stop, think and ponder Pinker’s insights.

 

 



Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy


Blood Meridian coverCormac McCarthy is probably better known for his other works, including No Country for Old Men, The Road, and All the Pretty Horses, but many consider Blood Meridian to be his greatest, and indeed one of the finest examples of contemporary American fiction.  A master of narration, McCarthy portrays the contradictions of the Wild West, depicting brutal, gruesome scenes of savagery with a stark and lyrical prose.

 

In 1847, a 14 year old Tennessee boy known only as "the Kid" wanders into the Southwest, where he eventually joins with a group of bloodthirsty men who hunt Indians for a living.  Led by the mysterious and learned Judge Holden, the band kills and terrorizes their way across the lawless West.

 

Not for the faint of heart, this book could be described as a work of Horror as easily as it could be called a Western.  This novel jabs a thumb into the eye of the romanticized Wild West and reminds the reader how the West was really won...through blood and slaughter.