International Non-Binary People’s Day (and The Incredible Pronoun)

International Non-Binary People’s Day is celebrated each year on July 14. It was first celebrated in 2012. The date was chosen as it is the exact middle point between International Men’s Day (November 19) and International Women’s Day (March 8). The purpose of International Non-Binary People’s Day is to celebrate and raise awareness of non-binary identities both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community.

What is non-binary?

Non-binary is a gender identity for those who don’t quite align with woman or man. Non-binary is not a new identity. In fact, non-binary identities have been recognized by a wide variety of cultures around the world for a very long time. For example, the hijra of South Asia, a third gender recognized by those in India and Pakistan as neither completely male nor female has evolved since the 1200s. The muxe in Zapotec cultures of Oaxaca, Mexico, is recognized as a third gender within that culture. Two-spirit is a modern “umbrella” term used by some Indigenous North Americans to describe those who fulfill a traditional third gender social role in their communities. It’s important to recognize the cultural specificity of these terms.

In U.S. society, we commonly view gender as a binary: “man” and “woman”, “male” or “female”. Non-binary allows for folks who don’t feel they neatly fit into either of those categories. Every individual experiences gender differently, and the words used to describe their identities varies, too. Related gender identities include gender-fluid, agender, bigender, genderqueer, and more. Each of these identifies means something different to each person, with the common gender experience that is not simply male or female.

The Incredible Pronoun

I, you, we, they, them, me, she, his, theirs, zir, xe – they're all important and useful elements of the English language. We use them every day, whether we readily see it or not. Pronouns simply describe things in our world: my phone, his shoes, their backpack, etc. They also work as stand-in words for proper names and groups: I, you, we, them.

The words we use to describe ourselves are personal and communicate in different ways who we are. In many languages, pronouns have gender attached to them. When someone’s gender identity does not align neatly with one or the other, they may use a different pronoun for themselves so that their words match who they are. Just like with someone’s name, use the pronouns a person has stated for themselves. If the pronouns are new for you to use, it might be a bit awkward at first and you may make mistakes. That’s okay – correct yourself and move on. Just like with any new knowledge and skill, we get better with practice.

How to be respectful and supportive of non-binary peoples?

The best way to support non-binary folks is to simply be respectful of everyone’s experience and identity. This doesn’t mean you have to be understanding of someone’s experience. We can’t expect to understand everyone’s experience and still respect them for the human they are.

Just as you would with anyone you meet, use the name someone has provided to you. If they correct you, thank them for the correction and continue to work on using the correct pronoun from then on. This also includes using the correct pronouns when they’re not around.

There’s no one way to be non-binary and it is a very personal experience. If you’re genuinely curious and you have an established relationship, it’s okay to respectfully ask what someone’s experience. Identifying as non-binary has been like. Not everyone is open to sharing their story, though, and no one is obligated to share if they do not wish to do so.

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