Parenting with a Disability
Being a parent is hard. No doubt about it, there’s no experience in the world quite as challenging or quite as rewarding. And when you’re the parent of a special needs child, there’s no job quite as overwhelming either. There are a LOT more resources now than when I was born in the mid-1960’s—support groups, online forums, and books and materials at the library to support the parents of a child with special needs.
But…what if the parents are the ones with special needs? In this case, the situation is very different, and the support is not as prevalent. Why is that support hard to find?
First, very few people with disabilities ever marry, much less become parents.
Second, another aspect is that many people with disabilities are less likely to afford having children in the U.S. Raising a child costs money, and it is challenging to hold down a job, maintain medical issues and raise a child. People with disabilities are often un- or underemployed per the U.S. Department of labor statistics. This creates a huge barrier in starting a family.
Third, raising a child as a disabled adult is pretty overwhelming. There are a lot of unknowns: what do I do when ....I can’t hear my child cry? ....I can’t see what my child is getting into? ....I can’t catch them when they run away? Am I able to hold them without dropping them? Even able-bodied adults have moments of catching their children right before disaster strikes, which is every parent’s worst nightmare. We want to nurture, protect, and guide our children into adulthood, and there can often be a lot of insecurities around that regardless of your physical status. When my daughter started walking, she just had one speed: faster than Mommy and Daddy.
And despite the roller-coaster ride of raising her, my daughter has turned out just fine. This is not in spite of having two parents with disabilities, but because of that. Parents with disabilities can be just as caring, nurturing, and welcoming of a child as parents without disabilities. And the responsibility of being a parent with a disability is just as rewarding as for the child who grows up with the care of a loving parent.
Books on Parents with Disabilities
Here at SJPL, we believe in inclusion at all stages of life, and welcome those with special needs to find resources for all aspects of life. Here are a few resources we have on this subject:
Add a comment to: Parents with Disabilities