The Meaning of Valentine's Day
Depending on one’s life circumstances, Valentine’s Day can either be a day of great joy, or it can be a struggle for adults. If you’re in a happy relationship, it can be a time to connect with your significant other and focus on your commitment to one another. For others, it might be a time of wanting that connection and wanting to have someone in their lives. And yet it can be a time to celebrate exactly who you are and to accept that there is nothing wrong with being your own valentine.
As a child in grade school, I always found Valentine’s Day to be challenging. I liked the candy, but making sure that everyone in the class received a valentine was stressful, and getting the fewest valentines in the class was a major scandal (something which I experienced multiple years). But I can’t help wondering if some of us still carry that around with us—if not having a sweetheart makes us sometimes feel like we’ve accomplished less than we wanted to in life, like getting the fewest number of valentines in second grade.
I’ve heard it said that you can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself. I’m not entirely convinced that that is true. I’ve known many people who have had long-term relationships without truly loving themselves. But what I do know is that it is very human to want to have connection in life, to seek a partner and to experience that support and fulfillment. There’s nothing wrong with wanting that, and it’s very natural, regardless of who you are. However, I think it is more important to have a better idea of what love really is in order to have a better connection with someone else. And maybe that’s the real message of what Valentine’s Day should be about.
Books about Loving Yourself
A few titles at the San Jose Public Library for thoughts on Love and Valentine's Day:
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